I was reading through the book of Revelation for my daily meditation and the Lord spoke to me through the 7 letters the apostle John wrote to the churches. Something that the Lord spoke to me specifically was from the letter written to the elder at Ephesus. Revelation 2: 2-3 Jesus says ” I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men….and have endured for my name’s sake, and have not grown weary”. Yet, the Lord says I have this one thing against you “you have lost your first love”.
What surprised me was their actions were right and God will definitely be pleased with their works. The did not grumble while working, they did not grow weary of doing it. Their work did not become mundane to them. It was not all happy for them, they had to suffer so many things and it says, they endured all that suffering for God’s name. Yet, God says you lost your first love.
What should I do when I have lost my first love? In Revelation 2: 5 the Lord asks them to do 3 things. I call it the 3 R’s – Remember, Repent and Redo. God asked them to remember “Where” they had fallen. NOT WHEN OR HOW BUT WHERE. He doesn’t want a date, not an event but a place in my heart. From which area in my heart have I fallen short of God’s glory. So I decided to do just that ; to remember and as I laid down thinking about my childhood many memories flashed through.
As a child I enjoyed going to church, I loved Sundays because my parents would take me to church. I went early so I could sit in the front row with other children and I watched the entire mass. While the priest was giving the Eucharist to people; I used to keep my mouth open and watched people come and receive the Eucharist. I was never allowed to enter the altar because it was a Holy place. So I assumed only through serving on the alter I could get close to God. I questioned the priests and brothers who would come as to ‘why I am not allowed to serve at the alter’. My only desire was to get close to God.
From the time I could read Bible on my own and I read gospel of John, I always loved John because John 13:23 says “Now there was leaning on Jesus bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved”. Jesus loved John likewise John also loved Jesus. It tells us how close John was to Jesus, so much that Peter pushed John to ask Jesus who was the betrayer. I wanted to have the same closeness with Jesus like John had.
My assumption was completely wrong, God was more interested in having a relationship with me than I was. He taught me I could be close to God even if I was not serving at the alter. He gave me the assurance to call Him “Father”. He taught me my body is the temple of God and he longs to dwell within me. He taught me I could not just enter the Holy place but also the most Holy place because the veil was rent and Jesus showed me the way to enter into the most Holy place.
This is what the Lord showed me- I was so involved in doing His work that I did not make time for Him. I had lost the longing to be close to God because of all the works. So now that God has helped me to remember this, what should I do next?
Repent- Now we have to repent, pray and submit the area where we have fallen from our first love for God.
Redo- Revelation 2:5 Jesus says “Do the deeds you did at first. What deeds were God talking about? When I was born again and baptized there was only 1 thing I had to do. Jesus had washed all my sins and had given me a new white robe and I did not want that to get stained. I was very sensitive to sin which God had revealed to me in my life. I wanted to read the word of God. I wanted to know Jesus intimately and spend time with Him. These are the deeds that God asks me to do again.
In verse 7 Jesus invites us to be over comers. So with Holy Spirits power we can overcome this short coming as well. God is interested to set things right in my life. He wants me to be close to Him. So I put my faith in Him who can bring to completion the work which he has started.